This song..

Well youre the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didnt last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldnt understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didnt die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you cant lose what you never had
I dont understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.

I'd never in a million years imagined that someone would write such an accurate song at this moment. Its as if he plucked the words from my mouth. It doesnt help that I stupidly made a discovery over somethings. This is me digging my own grave again. This is so useless. This is so blaeh.. I dont know what I feel exactly, sadness, frustration or anything. like lost of hope all of a sudden.

For once the I feel the pressure. What have I been lolly-gagging on for years just turned around and kick me in the face.. ouch. what have I build for myself? this is not me. I'm more than this! my credentials are weak now. they are not where they're suppose to be. This is me freaking out about Approval.

I dont understand how I can be so similar. physically and with at least 1 passion in common. That is probably why, no, this IS why things have been up and down so much. now I see and understand where it comes from. I still care/love nonetheless.