finale

wow its here. survived the bashing. now its time to face the music. production has hinted throughout their editing of the episodes who they have chosen, and who is to get out. We were all accessories. I wished everyone the best. it has been a pleasure working with you guys through thick and thin. If there is one thing i have to say it would be everyone was being themselves except one who played us all. you were good actor. so long farewell i hate to say goodbye...

Its alright. I'm alright.

the rant continues.. pls note that it's not about u. go get your own stories.. see.. crazys

I came, I saw, I tried and I fell. now I'm getting up. It sure aint easy. I freaked when things weren't going according to expectation. Yes I was led, but things became really crazy as i will refer to in the song from the previous post. It has cost much, everyone knew i was distracted, but I didn't like that, cos its not accurate. but you cant blame them, thats what they saw, thats what they wanna believe. sadly thats also what they will say and talk about.
Its coming to the end of the journey. 4 more days to go and the nerve wreaking phase of live will end and hopefully a new and exciting journey will begin. Beginning with a new career prospect, a new leaf, a new dawn, a new day. Being here now, looking around and thinking, shit! what have i been doing? what have i done? what have i not done? and all this while, what the heck was i thinking?
they say "spend your life with someone who accepts and loves you, not someone you have to impress" dont ask me who the hell are "they" i dont know k.

If i go before i wake, i pray to God my soul to keep. I have not gotten done many things. so I wont go, I Cant go. But who am I to say such things. Its up to him to judge and do unto me. but I would like to apologize to everyone I have hurt, saddened, disappointed, ignored, made fun of, taken for granted of etc etc. You never know when will it be your last time speaking, seeing, spending time with another.

condolences to Debbs, sorry for your lost.

every moment is change. so much we can do but all we need is to decide to do it. not doing 'it' lol
i'm starting to type rubbish and crap. save the embarrass

This song..

Well youre the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didnt last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldnt understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didnt die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you cant lose what you never had
I dont understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.

I'd never in a million years imagined that someone would write such an accurate song at this moment. Its as if he plucked the words from my mouth. It doesnt help that I stupidly made a discovery over somethings. This is me digging my own grave again. This is so useless. This is so blaeh.. I dont know what I feel exactly, sadness, frustration or anything. like lost of hope all of a sudden.

For once the I feel the pressure. What have I been lolly-gagging on for years just turned around and kick me in the face.. ouch. what have I build for myself? this is not me. I'm more than this! my credentials are weak now. they are not where they're suppose to be. This is me freaking out about Approval.

I dont understand how I can be so similar. physically and with at least 1 passion in common. That is probably why, no, this IS why things have been up and down so much. now I see and understand where it comes from. I still care/love nonetheless.